Positives vs Negatives

Such a day of ups and downs, highs and lows! I started my day heading, out to Freeport to get my hair done, which was a high point. I love getting my hair done, in particular, I love getting my hair done by the person who does my hair. She is amazing. I don’t know that I could ever go back to getting it done somewhere else, or even worse, doing it myself. It’s such a treat to spend a few hours in the salon too. Love it. There are a million salons closer to home, but she is worth the drive out to Freeport, in my opinion.

So as I was heading out of Rockford on the highway that leads to Freeport, I took a glance at my gas gauge and realized I only had about a quarter tank of gas. As I was just past the city limits, and didn’t have much time to spare, I opted not to stop in the small town on the way to get gas, and figured I’d get gas before heading home. So I spent a wonderful couple hours in the salon, and got out in plenty of time to get home and take my kids to gymnastics and trampoline class. That was a bonus, because I was afraid I was going to be back too late. As I drove away from the salon, I realized I should have thought to ask where the closest gas station was, because I’m not familiar with Freeport and only know a couple roads well. I wound up on the main road I knew, and was slightly annoyed that it meant I had to go out of my way quite a bit to get to the gas station I knew, and worried that it might cut into me getting back in time for gymnastics. As I pulled out of the gas station, I heard the tell tale sound of a flat tire. I travelled through the intersection and pulled over to find the passenger tire was indeed flat. Drat. As we’re planning to drive from Illinois to Florida in two weeks, I had already planned on getting new front tires next week. I certainly wasn’t planning on doing it today! My van has a death grip on my spare tire, so it is not accessible or usable. I stood there for a second wondering WHAT I was going to do, when I looked up to see that I was literally at the entrance of a shopping center that housed a Farm & Fleet. Even more specifically, I was even at the entrance that led right into the tire center of the Farm & Fleet. How amazing is that? I drove the short distance to the parking area and went in to get two new tires put on. Unfortunately, it was a busy day, and involved quite a bit of a wait, but what other options did I have but to wait?

As I waited, I realized how perfectly the whole fiasco had worked out. I will never believe anything other than God was looking out for me today. I drove there on a highway travelling speeds of 65+ miles per hour. Had my tire blown out while travelling at that speed, the outcome would surely have been more disasterous. With my spare tire being welded to the undercarriage of my van, I would be stuck with no means of travelling to even GET a new tire. It was definitely orchestrated that I would HAPPEN to have backtracked to THAT particular gas station, and HAPPENED to get the flat just as I was pulling out to the intersection that lead to the Farm & Fleet. Also, that I just HAPPENED to have already budgeted to replace those tires, so I wasn’t stranded without the means to pay for the new tires. There was no reason for all of those things to have happened to perfectly, and I spent my time waiting for the tires being thankful for the way things played out. Even though the tire going flat was a disappointing fiasco, and it meant my kids would miss gymnastics afterall, how could I not be thankful for the blessings in the situation?

Then my wait dragged on and on. The sun that was shining so brightly when I pulled up began to set. The mechanics eventually came out and said that some of my lug nuts were damaged and useless, so they ordered some from O’Reilly’s and were waiting for them to be delivered. It seemed like it was s taking FOREVER, and I sat alone in the waiting room with the TV blaring incessant reruns of Sanford & Sons. Seriously, I was going nuts! Why was this taking so long! I realized that not only were my kids missing gymnastics, but if they didn’t hurry up, we were going to miss church too. And tonight was Turtle race night. This was Ella’s first year being old enough to participate in Turtle Race night, and she was so excited! She decorated her turtle herself, and was so looking forward to participating. She would be devastated if I couldn’t get there in time! A mechanic came out with some estimates of repairs they thought my van needed, like rear brakes and new wiper blades. As he went back into the garage, I grumbled that I didn’t ASK them to take my rear tires off and snoop around, I JUST wanted front tires!!! No WONDER this was taking so long! After another few annoying episodes of Sanford & Sons, my van was finally pulled up to the door to wait for me. When I tried to pay, the guy swiped my card a handful of times before saying “Oh, we don’t take American Express.” Seriously? I wasn’t even sure I had enough on my Visa account to cover the tires, as I had always intended to use the money in the account that has the American Express card. GRRRR! By the grace of God, my visa account had enough, and I was finally off, in the dark, on the trip back to Rockford. Buuut, my cell phone had died while I was waiting. I should mention that I absolutely HATE my iphone. And the fact that it took a solid five minutes of charging before it would turn on so I could call my kids and tell them I was on my way only frustrated me even more and made me hate this phone even worse. I was just soo frustrated! My heart was broken that Ella was going to miss Turtle Races, and it just seemed that everything was working against me. It was during that longish drive home that I wondered WHY it was that it was so much easier to get frustrated over the negatives than it was to focus on the positives. I was literally besides myself with frustration, instead of praising God for all the work He had done in the situation. Why is the negative so much stronger and emotion? Somehow that seems backwards! As if to drive that lesson home to me, my night continued to be a lesson in frustration. Right now, my laptop is making me pull my hair out because it’s acting on its own accord. Literally, my touchpad isn’t working right, and keeps moving my cursor all over the screen, randomly clicking on things. I’ve had to really work to get this typed!! Every couple words, my cursor moves up a few lines or so and starts typing in the middle of another sentence. Frustrating! I seriously want to throw this thing! I came into my room to find that one of my children had un-made my bed, and the animals had climbed all over my sheets. Pet peeve- kitty food in my bed. And my cat has an obsession with hiding his food in random places. If my bed is not made, my cat climbs all under the blankets. So I was annoyed at the child that was laying in my bed earlier today while I was gone and left it disheveled. Since this laptop is driving me mad, I thought I’d grab my tablet instead. Turns out one of my children has absconded with it, and it is NOT where it belongs. As they are asleep, I have no idea where they placed it. Grrr! So many frustrations today!! But, on the upside, not only was God’s hand in the tire fiasco, He also made sure that we DID make it to church in time for Ella to participate. We were late, and she missed the practice time, but she did get to race. So even though this day has had some set backs, and the frustrations with this laptop continue to make me want to throw it, I have to remember to focus on the positives. Why does it have to be such a conscious effort to not let the negative outweigh the positives? Today’s negatives were offset by some pretty significant positives! Surely that should count for more than the frustrations of this ridiculous laptop, and my messed up bed, and the missing tablet, right? I’m going to take as my lesson for the day. Plus my hair looks really good, so it’s hard to stay negative for too long 

Broken... and Redemption

Once upon a time there was an ordinary girl. She was ordinary in every way, with the exception of a streak of overwhelmingly bad luck. That all seemed to change when she met her Prince Charming. Suddenly she had everything she ever wanted and no longer felt ordinary. For many years she was overjoyed that all her dreams had come true. Then one day, in a particularly cruel twist of fate, Prince Charming destroyed those dreams and took the fairy tale away. He made sure no dream was left unshattered, no hope left unsquashed. He left the ordinary girl an empty shell of who she once was, making that bad-luck riddled ordinary life she had before he arrived seem a million times better than where she was now. How she longed for that simpler time! Instead, while he rode off into the sunset with a sinister laugh and smile, she remained behind. Broken.

Broken is a horrible place to be. I've been there for far too long. But today's blog isn't a story of staying broken. This post isn't meant to dwell on the misery that has enveloped my being for far too long. Rather, it's to celebrate how much things have changed. It certainly wasn't a quick change, and it hasn't been a complete healing. I liken it to a precious vase that has been shattered, and carefully glued back together. The pieces are back together, maybe even well enough to become a functioning vase again, but the scars and damage are still visible. They're just held together by glue, all the shards in their respective places.

The past few years have been the worst challenges of my life. And yet, here I stand today, finally in a place where I can smile. I am finally seeing the fruits of all my labors and tribulations, as the pieces of my being are held together by some super glue. Certainly, I will never be a perfect unscarred vessel, as the aforementioned vase will never look unblemished either. But I'm finally accepting that having been broken isn't the end of the world; just the end of the world I thought I had. The world I thought I had turned out to be an illusion anyway. I'm not necessarily where I want to be, and certainly not where I thought I would be, but I'm okay with that. It gives me something to work towards. I'm actually feeling good about where I am, and I can't say that I have felt that way for a long time.

In a few short weeks, my children and I will be embarking on our biggest solo adventure ever. We will load up our minivan, drop our doggies off at the doggie spa, and begin the long drive from Illinois to Florida for an amazing vacation. I may never want to return! The possibility of such a trip was not a possibility even a year ago. A year ago, I was not even able to afford to pay for even the most basic of our living needs. I'm not exaggerating that fact. Times have been very rough. No amount of working seemed to be enough. But God is faithful, and we made it through. I was blessed to be hired at another local hospital, as well as at the local YMCA, and my income has doubled. For the first time in a long time, I've not only been able to pay bills on time, but been able to splurge on extras. Our amazing Florida adventure is one of those extras. It makes all those long hours at work all worth it, when I can see the fruit of those labors in such a tangible way! It also makes it easier to truly look and see the blessing that are bestowed upon my family, when my eyes aren't clouded with misery. I have so much to be thankful for! When I actually catalog all the blessings in my life, it's hard to imagine that I had not seen them all for so long. The misery goggles are off, and things are only looking better and better.

And so, the ordinary girl was left broken. She stayed broken for quite some time, unsure how to put herself back together, and unsure if she even wanted to try. But God is faithful, and He held on to each of her broken pieces, ensuring not a single sliver was lost, until such a time as she finally found the strength to start gluing the pieces back together. And with that, the sad story of brokenness become a story of healing and redemption.

James 1 speaks to my heart today

James 1
New International Version (NIV)

1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:

Greetings.
Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Pray Big, Pray bold

1 Chronicles 4:10(NIV)
10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

Pray big, Pray bold. It's an idea that has recently presented itself to me more than once lately, and in completely different circumstances. I don't believe it is merely "coincidence".

Proverbs 28:1(NIV)
28 The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

Ephesians 3:20(NIV)
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

I pray, and I pray often. I pray that I make it to work on time. I pray that my children will not drive me mad that day. I pray that I will have enough money to pay a bill, or enough leniency from the collector to wait until I have enough money. I pray for some small things, and some larger things. But the idea of praying big and praying boldly hasn't been an attitude that I've held. Until recently. Certainly, praying for the small things is fine. And certainly, God hears my prayers, and answers them just the same. But He is a God capable of moving mountains, not limited to just changing a stoplight to green so I make it to work on time! He is a capable of unbelievable feats, capable of the unimaginable. Why am I limiting my requests to things that are so easy? Why am I not giving him my prayers that only a truly awesome God could possibly be capable of answering? Why not give Him a chance to show his might, to demonstrate his glory? I have some huge desires, huge needs, that I've kept wrapped up in my own head, and never thought of throwing them at his feet in prayer. Why is that?

Many mighty men and women of the bible prayed boldly before the Lord. Moses, Abraham, King David, Daniel, Joshua, just to name a few. Their prayers weren't answered because they were easy to answer. They weren't answered because they took the least amount of effort, or because they were the least bothersome to the Lord in their requests. They knew what they wanted or needed and boldly brought their needs before the Lord. They didn't pussy foot around and meekly ask for their desires, if it wasn't too much trouble! Moses many times called out to God on behalf of Israel, and God answered in huge ways.

Hebrews 4:16(NIV)
16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your prayers to God."

How can I not present my huge, seemingly impossible requests to him? What have I to lose by boldly bringing them to His feet? It has been demonstrated time and time again in the bible, so why have I not followed suit? It's time to think of those big big prayers. It's time to bring those prayers boldly to the throne. It's time to pray big and pray bold.

The difference between where I am and where I want to be

I am a walking oxymoron. Everything about me is a contradiction. There is such a disconnect in where and who I am, and where and who I want to be. Some days it seems like an insurmountable distance between the two. The older I get, the more conservative I am becoming. That is at conflict with who I have been all my life. I’ve always been what could be considered conservative in some areas, but certainly not in others; but find it more so as I age, and reaching more areas of my life. Having children has impacted that greatly, though it has been increasingly growing as they get older.

I’m a smartphone wearing, satellite dish loving, social media addict; yet at the same time, I’d love to move away from civilization and ditch all those things. As much as I rely on and use those things daily, I’ve always wanted a Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables life. Truly, where I’d like to be is in the country on a huge lot of land and less outside influence. Seems a little oxymoronic, no?

I was raised Catholic, though not really practicing outside of parochial school. I left the Catholic Church for a number of reasons, and found myself in love with my Evangelical Free church. I started there thinking it was important for my kids to be “churched”, yet not really feeling the need for myself. Boy was I wrong. It has filled a void I didn’t even know I have. And as I’ve aged and really grown in my walk, I’ve been growing in my convictions towards being more conservative. Not in a judgmental way, or legalistic “I have to behave in such-and-such a way to be saved” way, but in a personal conviction way. It’s just what feels right in my heart. My kids have a plethora of friends of differing faiths, yet are active members of our church. They see their same-aged friends in “dating typed” relationships (which KILLS me), yet our family rule is that there is no dating allowed. We have discussed what dating is, and that the act of dating’s purpose is to find a potential mate; at this point in their lives, they’re certainly not seeking a spouse, so there is no acceptable reason for them to be pairing off. I struggle with teaching them what a godly husband and godly wife are like, when they’re not being modeled such character qualities. It’s my desire that they grow into strong godly men and woman that seek out spouses with the same character traits. I homeschool my children for a number of reasons, not the least of which is to control some of the outside influence on them. I’ve been a cloth diapering, extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting, non-vaccinating, co-sleeping, and a-million-other-labels mom. At the same time, I’m a True Blood loving, Harry Potter watching, too often a potty mouth, yelling-at-my-kids when they drive me nuts, pierced lip kind of mom. If I ever get the courage, I may get a tattoo. I put my daughter in beauty pageants, and my boys play shoot-em-up video games. Yet another oxymoron?

Someday maybe who and where I am will align with who and where I want to be. As long as I’m moving in that direction, I think that’s enough for me. I suppose there are greater travesties than being a walking oxymoron. Maybe being one and not knowing it would be worse? I know the things I want and need to work on and work towards. And maybe someday you’ll see me in my farmhouse, with my well behaved children helping to tend our alpacas. Maybe I’ll be the skirt wearing, homeschooling mom with no TV or video games in the house. Then again, maybe we’ll still be living in a city I can’t stand and they’ll be trying to pull each other’s hair out, arguing over which video game to play next. I know what my goal is, and even if I have to take baby steps to make it there, I’m okay with that. I’m pretty good at being a walking oxymoron by now.

Perfect Christians

It's very disheartening when the biggest players in showing Christianity in a negative light are the very people that claim to practice it. Unfortunately, it does the most damage to the "cause".

I've had some recent experiences that have left me shaking my head at the actions of some of those who claim to be the biggest and bestest at being exemplary Christians. It's hard enough to swallow the actions of the people who present themselves as perfect Christians, and perfect people in general. It's just the icing on the cake when it crosses the border into hypocrisy. I've never counted myself as perfect at anything, and certainly not a perfect Christ follower. The beauty is no one else is perfect either. We are all flawed by design, and will never be perfect or worthy enough. That's the meaning of being saved by grace- I don't have to be perfect. God loves me beyond comprehension anyway, flawed and broken as I am. But there are those people who feel the need to present themselves as perfect, while looking down upon others who don't meet up to the standards that they can't even meet themselves. No, I will never be the best mother, the best wife, the best teacher, may not volunteer in the most activities or be a board member of the most prestigious elite groups. My kids may not ever be the team star athletes, or the valedictorian of whatever uber academic program that someone else's child might be in. I may not be married to an important member of some church's board. But when I reach judgment day, I won't be surprised to see that all my elitist airs did nothing to change my place in God's eyes. I won't be surprised to see my wrongs judged, to see my shortcomings are weighted just the same as everyone else's. I won't be surprised to find that with all my claims to being such a devoted Christian, that my actions have turned more people off to God, than brought them to Him. And I'm okay with that.

Single parenting & raising Godly sons and daughters

As if being a single parent wasn't tough enough, I find myself struggling on a biblical level as well. Those of my friends and family that aren't Christ followers won't get it, but it's certainly an issue that I struggle with. One of the greatest responsibilities I have is to raise my children into godly, compassionate, productive members of our society. As a single parent, that's an even larger challenge than a typical married parenting couple face. How can I teach my boys to be godly men, to grow up to be the leaders of their homes, to lead their wives and children, when they don't have that godly example to teach them? How can I teach my daughter to seek a godly man as her partner, and how to become his help meet to him, when I'm not a living example of that to her? It's quite a conundrum. There are so many resources available to parents- retreats, camps, seminars and conventions, classes and studies, etc., yet they speak from a biblical standpoint of a two parent household. I've found wonderful sources of information, and some fantastic opportunities that my children and/or I would love to participate in, but we don't fit the "mold". The offerings on raising sons into godly men are made for fathers and their sons to participate in together, or speak to fathers as far as how to guide their sons. I've yet to find a source of mother/son offerings or teachings that offer the same guidance. In fact, many of the things I've found that we would love to participate in are seemingly negatory in their views towards single parents. I've found myself interested in some homeschool curriculum offerings that are very clear in its preference for married families only. In fact, in order to be accepted into their program, I'd have to get my ex-husband to sign into an agreement with them. Other than that, it seems to be a fabulous program. It's quite frustrating that the boys (and girls) who need the guidance and role modeling the most are the ones who get it the least. With the rate of divorce and unmarried parents in our country, I find it shameful that there is such a lack of support in this area. It's such a sadness that I'm forced to try to teach them with "do as I say, not as I do." Surely I'm not the only single parent struggling with this! I'll continue on my quest, but it would sure be easier if I had more support from fellow Christians.

Better, not Bitter

Following my "Attitude of Gratitude" theme, is the idea of "Better, not Bitter." I've certainly had a lot of things in my life to be bitter about, but that's not what I want to be. And for the most part, I'm not. Honestly, the idea of being bitter all my life over something is horrifying. I'm fairly non-confrontational, and have a number of people that I wouldn't be openly bitter towards, but may harbor some feelings of bitterness towards inwardly. What a waste! I'm letting go of bitter, and working on better. I think that more than just bitter, I find myself being SAD over situations that have occurred. But this is definitely something I'm working on letting go of. What's done is done, and being bitter or sad over those events is useless and prevents me from being able to have the attitude of gratitude over the GOOD things that I have in my life. I'm not going to give those negative things the power to dictate my attitude and state of mine. So goodbye bitterness, hello betterness! (It’s my new word LOL)

The Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve decided to make a conscious effort at NOT getting caught up in the negative things. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to see all the things that have gone wrong, or the things that are negative in our lives. It’s too easy to become overwhelmed with all the bad things, and not even notice or acknowledge the positives. I see this often in my own life. One of my favorite songs is by Francesca Battistelli, called “This is the stuff”. It sums things up quite well.

Lyrics to This Is The Stuff:

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use

I’ve sung this song to myself many times, and it serves as a reminder not to get caught up in the negatives in the here-and-now, but to seek out the blessings that are around me. I may be a struggling, single mom, with the weight of the world on my shoulders, but there are surely good things in my life, if I’m willing to look past the mess and struggles. I may not have steaks to grill for dinner, but I do have hamburgers. I may not have enough for a fancy vacation with my kids, but we do look forward to our camping trips (even if they are local), and we did get to take an amazing trip to the Wisconsin Dells that we have all worked to save up for. We may not have everything we want, but we sure do have a lot! We have cell phones and satellite TV, and my kids have video game systems that they play with their friends (even if they do have to trade games between friends and trade in games at the game store to get new ones). We have a place to live, even if it’s not where we want to stay forever. I have a great job, which I love, even though I’d like to finish school and get on to doing what I ultimately want to do. I may be constantly on the brink of financial ruins, and always seem to have more bills than money, but we still manage to have the “extras” in our life somehow. Somehow, things seem to work out, even if it’s not exactly how I wanted it too. Even when I’ve felt like the world is caving in and turned upside down, I know that God was there to keep me from falling into the bottomless pit. I may have to purpose to seek the ways that He has been there, to really search to find the good things in my life, but surely they are there. With that mindset, I’ve decided to purpose to find and acknowledge the blessings in my life on a daily basis. I’m also going to include my children in this, so they too can see the blessings in their lives, even in the midst of all their pre-teen angst. And so we are creating Gratitude Books, to record daily the things we are grateful for. By purposing to seek and acknowledge the positives, and recording them so we can reflect upon them later when it looks like the world is working against us, I hope that we can work to change our mindsets from the overwhelming feelings of negativity that are so easy to succumb to. I hope we can switch our mindset to the attitude of gratitude that makes it so much easier to deal with life’s struggles. It’s important, not only for me to think that way, but to share that attitude with my children. There really ARE blessings all around us, if we can look past the negative, dark things and not get overburdened by them. This is the first step in seeking them out.

Must... do... homework...

I love taking college courses online. But I also hate it. It's too easy to say I'll do it later or I'll do it tomorrow. If I were in a ground campus course, I could go to class for my couple hours a week, take a test and pull in an A. In the online environment, they are challenged to make a virtual attendance requirement. This is met by posting comments to peers on the classroom forum. Personally, I'd rather just do the test and submit the assignments. Oftentimes I find myself not having anything substantial to post in response to them, and I spend more time and energy trying to come up with something. How is this helping me learn the subject matter? It's not. Unfortunately, you can ace the quizzes and assignments and still get nailed for not meeting the attendance requirement. Bah. And on that note, I'd better go work out some spectacular postings. Weeeeee!